3rd
34. Finals Week
Hey, kids! I just wanted to send out a quick note to everybody (the seven of you left) still reading my “writing”- I haven’t ignored you or stopped altogether, so don’t worry. Daddy’s sorry, he’s just been a little busy with school lately. Daddy still loves you, baby. Why are you crying? Aw, Daddy’s sorry. He didn’t mean to make you cry. Come here. That’s right, shhhhhh. Come sit on my lap, and I’ll make those tears go away.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I haven’t forgotten about you, and that more hilarity is on the way as soon as finals are over and this abomination of a college term is done next week. And believe me, there’s been plenty of shit lately that’s been hate-worthy (the BP oil spill, Hollywood, my bank account, my growing addiction to amputee pornography, and amputees) that I feel needs to be addressed. I simply haven’t had the time to do any of it justice, but that will change. With extreme prejudice. So don’t despair! I still love you, but your mother and I just won’t be living together anymore, that’s all.
Additionally, I wanted to ask you all this- what would you think about listening to an audio file of me ranting versus the written word? I swiped my neighbor’s Rock Band microphone when he wasn’t looking, so now I actually have a means to record myself actually saying all the stupid shit I “write”. Would that be relevant to your interests?
